January 2018

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In my recent composition class sessions, my students and I have been reviewing and applying the principles of a meaningful profile essay. The writer chooses a subject (person) to describe so that the reader can get to know the subject (or in the case of a famous person, so the reader might learn something previously unknown about the subject).

One thing has become clear to me as I read final essay submissions this weekend. A well-written profile clearly keeps the subject at “center stage” – and even if the writer decides to insert him or herself into the essay to any degree, the writer’s presence never takes over the meaning and content of the profile story line. That would essentially turn the profile essay into a personal essay.

It is difficult to write truly well across forms and genres. For apart from personal essays and poetry and some non-fiction instructional material, there is nearly no room for a writer to step in and take over a piece of writing. Even if all things must, by nature, be told indirectly from the writer’s point of view and depth of knowledge, the masterful writer will write in such a way that the profile subject, the story characters, or the helpful knowledge being conveyed all remain front and center.

And while finally achieving this balance may bring the successful writer a sense of quiet pride, the truly successful writer must not only be a silent player…he or she must also be truly humble.

 

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Even though technology has greatly affected our methods and speed of written communication, it is still likely that all of us will write at least a few hand-jotted notes or letters in our lifetime. Just like I enjoy the feel, weight, sight, and smell of a printed book, there’s something about a letter written by hand that connects with my soul more than a typed or e-formatted letter ever could. I think it has something to do with the heart of the writer that is reflected in the personally sculpted words and sentences. And it is delightful to reach into my mailbox, sift through the bulk mailings, and find a card or note that declares quietly, “I think highly enough of you to give of my time and send you personal thoughts and wish you well.” It is a connection over the course of days between the thoughts of the sender and my heart communing with one another.

When I moved a few months ago, I tried hard to pack mindfully and toss out some old stuff I didn’t need anymore. Of course, in the final crazy hours, however, I was forced to throw a number of items in boxes…boxes which somehow magically ended up shoved in a closet… (What was that I blogged the other week about putting things off until later?)

I started going through one of those boxes last night and came across some old and very precious letters, including one of the last ones my grandmother was strong enough to write to me with her own hand – heaping with just as much love as anything she’d ever written.

Near the bottom of the stack was a series of lengthy notes from a beloved cousin. I reread them, nearly 20 years after they were first sent, and was touched by the truth I still found there. Not only truth of what a wonderful person she is, but also timeless truth about God and life. In the last of that series, she told me all she’d been learning recently about the importance of praising and thanking God more than asking Him for things in prayer. As I read, I was greatly convicted because I’ve been praying a lot lately, but the number of gratitude and affirmation statements has been so small compared with the number of requests.

I was humbled. And I went to bed and woke up praising and thanking extensively before I could even think of making another request.

Who knows if any of the hundreds of hand-written letters I have already sent will be kept by anyone for years, even after my death? But today I reflect and consider: what we write in our letters not only has power to encourage today, but it may also speak truth and impact people more than we will ever know in the future.

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I am teaching composition this term, and the first major project in my 101 sections was a personal essay. As I grade student submissions this weekend, I am struck by the powerful role a good instructor has in the lives of his/her students. And in this case, I define a good instructor as one who is a trustworthy, caring person. Because such a person creates a place of safety where his/her students feel free to open up, share, and grow at deeper levels.

Reflecting on my own educational experiences, I can immediately think of a few teachers who did NOT make me feel safe with their communication style, classroom environment, methods of discipline, or cold personal demeanor. At the same time, I can easily name a number of other teachers who made me feel safe to learn, create, ask, seek, and simply be myself under their watch. Whether or not I was able to express that sense of trusting and safety in the assignments I completed for them, it remained in my heart and influenced both my academic performance and my personal development – ultimately inspiring me to be an instructor and teacher mentor.

Back to the essays, then. Wow! I’ve only communicated with these students for a few weeks. And some of them are being instructed online so I don’t even know what they look like; we’ve never met in person. Yet, here they are, writing about all kinds of past experiences. They had complete freedom to explore the topics of their choice. But the number of students who chose to write about deeply personal experiences – some of them painful, scary, or even traumatic – surprised me.

And in a way it blessed me. As their instructor, I felt like they were saying, “Here’s a piece of who I am. And I’m trusting you to hold it with respectfully gentle hands and grade my work with great care.”

Perhaps it is my joint background in counseling and education that helps me to notice the beauty of this – and the overwhelming responsibility of it. I do not take it lightly, and I thank God for the opportunity to embrace each essay and treat each student with dignity even while I must, by design, provide a critique of their work.

True: this may happen more readily in courses like English and psychology, where communication and personal exploration are often encouraged (as compared to physics or algebra, for example). Yet I think there is a reminder in my observation for every teacher, no matter what we teach and no matter how old our students are.

Let us stop and take stock today, considering carefully how we view and treat those we instruct. And let us do our best to provide a good, safe space for them to enter into. A place where real development will take root and seeds of hope will sprout into blossoms of confident maturity.

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I’ll do it after…   I’ll do it when…   I’ll do it once…   I’ll do it later…maybe.

Kids say these things. Mom calls, “Feed the pets!” And her son yells back, “OK…after I finish this level of my video game.” Or the daughter sighs, “I will – once I get to the end of this chapter.”

Employees say these things. The boss pops his head in the conference room and orders, “I need a fresh report on the breakdown by the end of the week. Start over, folks, and find the real reason for the problem!” Bob, the bravest to speak up first nearly every time, clears his throat and says, “Sure, sir. Right after we grab some coffee…and review the data again.”

Spouses say these things. “Honey,” whines Vanessa, “isn’t it about time you were nice to my mother and spoke to her civilly?” To which Jimmy fires back, “I will once she decides to respect me and the valuable work I do to support you!”

Singles say these things. Steven asks Monica, a girl he’s very interested in, “When are you going to trust me and be real with me?” She turns away and whispers, “I will after I clean up the messes in my life so I’m good enough for you…or any other man.”

Human beings say these things. The doctor looks up with concern and tells John Doe, “Things don’t look good. You’ve developed X health problem. I’ve been telling you for ten years now that you needed to do more of Y and less of Z.” And John sighs and says, “OK, Doc, after one more binge-fest during my upcoming family vacation.”

It’s easy to put things off and make excuses. It’s easy to ignore people and responsibilities. It’s easy to avoid what would better be faced. It’s easy to hold onto pain, anger, or fear like lifelines in the darkness.

It’s hard to start doing what we know we should…to trust…to change…to admit…to confess…to kneel…to lean.

And yet, it’s in the latter things that goodness is planted, positive change sprouts, and true growth occurs.

 

 

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