Sometimes our gratitude is shown silently, through touch. When a terrified baby cries through the pain of her earaches and teething, her father rocks her in the wooden glider for two hours straight until the worst of the pain has passed and her whimpers slowly fade into the silence of sleep. He sighs and kisses her sweaty forehead. She is not old enough to say the words, but her actions have said, “Help me…. Stay with me… Thank you.” And her father, through his touch and calm actions, has said, “I won’t leave you. Thank you for trusting me.”

Sometimes our gratitude is shown quietly, through staying. A husband and wife have a necessary but difficult discussion. Though voices are raised at points and some very painful words slip out, neither leaves the room and they stick it out. And finally, they look into each others eyes and stretch hands across the table, fingers joining and squeezing with reassurance while the expression on each face says, “Thank you for loving me through my struggles and weaknesses.”

Sometimes our gratitude is shown directly, through approach-ability. One woman pours out a part of her heart and, at the end of the confession, says, “Thank you for allowing me to share.” And her friend, who has been listening respectfully, replies, “Thank you for trusting me enough to confide in me.”

Sometimes our gratitude is show unexpectedly, through selflessness. An adult daughter needs her dad’s advice, presence, and help, but she’s afraid to ask for those things – afraid she’ll be a burden to him by interrupting his day and taking up all of his time. But she risks asking anyway and thanks him for his assistance. Hours afterward, he surprises her by contacting her and saying, “I was thankful to be able to spend the extra time with you today.” Then she begins to cry because she is reminded that he sees what – or who – is most important.

In giving and receiving every different type of gratitude horizontally, each of us becomes a little bit more like the One we must ultimately be most grateful to.