He lived so long ago that the details of his life story are now spun for us in a tale of various hues and colorful climaxes. Yet today, even the youngest school children know his name and couples across cultures celebrate their devotion to one another in his honor.

But do we recognize what we are really celebrating when we remember the man who was called Valentine?

Some accounts say that he not only healed a young blind woman but that he also fell deeply in love with her.

How romantic.

Yet ultimately tragic, and ironic, because all accounts say the reason for his execution came in his refusal to deny his belief that every man and woman who wanted to marry should marry, something the emperor of his time had forbidden for the sake of maintaining a stronger army.

Some people think it beautiful that he left his young love a note of eternal affection before he was led to his death.

But if we focus only on that, we miss the greater beauty of his courage. What he lived for. What he died for. What he believed in so unwaveringly.

And we miss the beauty of courage a man and a woman display when they commit to a binding covenant with each other…and the courage they display when they choose to weather many storms and see the promise they made as not only their responsibility but also as their gift to give through and to grow through. Together. For the sake of the other.

For the word marriage may, in English, begin with a “m” and end with an “e” …but it has never been about the good of the individual. It has been about the good of the unit, and by extension, the good of the community, the nation, the world. And even the good of Heaven’s pleasure.

Ironic, as well, because in a day and age when we have more rights and freedom to marry than ever, so many people choose to disregard that right. It takes courage to take up that yoke. And it takes courage to appreciate the beauty and defend the worth of each couple who pulls together well, no matter what life throws at them.

This Valentine’s Day, I will celebrate the man who had the courage to do what was right until the end. And I won’t be receiving a dozen roses or a diamond ring or be whisked away to a fancy steak dinner. But I won’t mind. I will be happy to sit at home, sipping chocolate, and praying for my married friends to press on courageously and faithfully.