Is it possible, in this age that is (or at least seems to be) more relativistic than ever, for an educator to hold convictions based on absolutes – and use those convictions to guide the way he/she instructs or advises a group of learners?

My current composition textbook, The Curious Writer by Bruce Ballenger, presents a reformed approach to the subject, encouraging students to constantly write not from what they already know but from what they don’t yet know and want to learn. It is called writing from a basis of inquiry – and is said to yield much better final results.

In the chapter about writing an argumentative essay, Ballenger presents three different approaches for the students to consider – the classical approach of Aristotle, the truth-questioning approach of philosopher Stephen Toulmin, and the therapeutic approach of Carl Rogers. In summary, Ballenger says that the old school style which appeals from ethos (the writer’s credibility), pathos (emotion), and logos (reason) is too formulaic and leaves no room for “truth” to be questioned and modified.

While I indeed want my learners to approach things with an open mind, I also believe there’s a point where questioning things without a firm and sure guiding light to come back to can be dangerous. Even after we have searched, questioned, and explored, when we finally draw our conclusions, what is to ground them if not some aspect of Aristotle’s reasoning?

Ultimately, each instructor must answer that question for him/herself.

As for me, though many things are not completely black and white, a Spirit-empowered sense of credibility, a heart compass that points heavenward, and a wisdom-tuned sense of reason will remain the key stones in my foundation for centering my position in all types of teaching and instruction. 

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Sometimes our gratitude is shown silently, through touch. When a terrified baby cries through the pain of her earaches and teething, her father rocks her in the wooden glider for two hours straight until the worst of the pain has passed and her whimpers slowly fade into the silence of sleep. He sighs and kisses her sweaty forehead. She is not old enough to say the words, but her actions have said, “Help me…. Stay with me… Thank you.” And her father, through his touch and calm actions, has said, “I won’t leave you. Thank you for trusting me.”

Sometimes our gratitude is shown quietly, through staying. A husband and wife have a necessary but difficult discussion. Though voices are raised at points and some very painful words slip out, neither leaves the room and they stick it out. And finally, they look into each others eyes and stretch hands across the table, fingers joining and squeezing with reassurance while the expression on each face says, “Thank you for loving me through my struggles and weaknesses.”

Sometimes our gratitude is shown directly, through approach-ability. One woman pours out a part of her heart and, at the end of the confession, says, “Thank you for allowing me to share.” And her friend, who has been listening respectfully, replies, “Thank you for trusting me enough to confide in me.”

Sometimes our gratitude is show unexpectedly, through selflessness. An adult daughter needs her dad’s advice, presence, and help, but she’s afraid to ask for those things – afraid she’ll be a burden to him by interrupting his day and taking up all of his time. But she risks asking anyway and thanks him for his assistance. Hours afterward, he surprises her by contacting her and saying, “I was thankful to be able to spend the extra time with you today.” Then she begins to cry because she is reminded that he sees what – or who – is most important.

In giving and receiving every different type of gratitude horizontally, each of us becomes a little bit more like the One we must ultimately be most grateful to.

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In my recent composition class sessions, my students and I have been reviewing and applying the principles of a meaningful profile essay. The writer chooses a subject (person) to describe so that the reader can get to know the subject (or in the case of a famous person, so the reader might learn something previously unknown about the subject).

One thing has become clear to me as I read final essay submissions this weekend. A well-written profile clearly keeps the subject at “center stage” – and even if the writer decides to insert him or herself into the essay to any degree, the writer’s presence never takes over the meaning and content of the profile story line. That would essentially turn the profile essay into a personal essay.

It is difficult to write truly well across forms and genres. For apart from personal essays and poetry and some non-fiction instructional material, there is nearly no room for a writer to step in and take over a piece of writing. Even if all things must, by nature, be told indirectly from the writer’s point of view and depth of knowledge, the masterful writer will write in such a way that the profile subject, the story characters, or the helpful knowledge being conveyed all remain front and center.

And while finally achieving this balance may bring the successful writer a sense of quiet pride, the truly successful writer must not only be a silent player…he or she must also be truly humble.

 

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Even though technology has greatly affected our methods and speed of written communication, it is still likely that all of us will write at least a few hand-jotted notes or letters in our lifetime. Just like I enjoy the feel, weight, sight, and smell of a printed book, there’s something about a letter written by hand that connects with my soul more than a typed or e-formatted letter ever could. I think it has something to do with the heart of the writer that is reflected in the personally sculpted words and sentences. And it is delightful to reach into my mailbox, sift through the bulk mailings, and find a card or note that declares quietly, “I think highly enough of you to give of my time and send you personal thoughts and wish you well.” It is a connection over the course of days between the thoughts of the sender and my heart communing with one another.

When I moved a few months ago, I tried hard to pack mindfully and toss out some old stuff I didn’t need anymore. Of course, in the final crazy hours, however, I was forced to throw a number of items in boxes…boxes which somehow magically ended up shoved in a closet… (What was that I blogged the other week about putting things off until later?)

I started going through one of those boxes last night and came across some old and very precious letters, including one of the last ones my grandmother was strong enough to write to me with her own hand – heaping with just as much love as anything she’d ever written.

Near the bottom of the stack was a series of lengthy notes from a beloved cousin. I reread them, nearly 20 years after they were first sent, and was touched by the truth I still found there. Not only truth of what a wonderful person she is, but also timeless truth about God and life. In the last of that series, she told me all she’d been learning recently about the importance of praising and thanking God more than asking Him for things in prayer. As I read, I was greatly convicted because I’ve been praying a lot lately, but the number of gratitude and affirmation statements has been so small compared with the number of requests.

I was humbled. And I went to bed and woke up praising and thanking extensively before I could even think of making another request.

Who knows if any of the hundreds of hand-written letters I have already sent will be kept by anyone for years, even after my death? But today I reflect and consider: what we write in our letters not only has power to encourage today, but it may also speak truth and impact people more than we will ever know in the future.

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I am teaching composition this term, and the first major project in my 101 sections was a personal essay. As I grade student submissions this weekend, I am struck by the powerful role a good instructor has in the lives of his/her students. And in this case, I define a good instructor as one who is a trustworthy, caring person. Because such a person creates a place of safety where his/her students feel free to open up, share, and grow at deeper levels.

Reflecting on my own educational experiences, I can immediately think of a few teachers who did NOT make me feel safe with their communication style, classroom environment, methods of discipline, or cold personal demeanor. At the same time, I can easily name a number of other teachers who made me feel safe to learn, create, ask, seek, and simply be myself under their watch. Whether or not I was able to express that sense of trusting and safety in the assignments I completed for them, it remained in my heart and influenced both my academic performance and my personal development – ultimately inspiring me to be an instructor and teacher mentor.

Back to the essays, then. Wow! I’ve only communicated with these students for a few weeks. And some of them are being instructed online so I don’t even know what they look like; we’ve never met in person. Yet, here they are, writing about all kinds of past experiences. They had complete freedom to explore the topics of their choice. But the number of students who chose to write about deeply personal experiences – some of them painful, scary, or even traumatic – surprised me.

And in a way it blessed me. As their instructor, I felt like they were saying, “Here’s a piece of who I am. And I’m trusting you to hold it with respectfully gentle hands and grade my work with great care.”

Perhaps it is my joint background in counseling and education that helps me to notice the beauty of this – and the overwhelming responsibility of it. I do not take it lightly, and I thank God for the opportunity to embrace each essay and treat each student with dignity even while I must, by design, provide a critique of their work.

True: this may happen more readily in courses like English and psychology, where communication and personal exploration are often encouraged (as compared to physics or algebra, for example). Yet I think there is a reminder in my observation for every teacher, no matter what we teach and no matter how old our students are.

Let us stop and take stock today, considering carefully how we view and treat those we instruct. And let us do our best to provide a good, safe space for them to enter into. A place where real development will take root and seeds of hope will sprout into blossoms of confident maturity.

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I’ll do it after…   I’ll do it when…   I’ll do it once…   I’ll do it later…maybe.

Kids say these things. Mom calls, “Feed the pets!” And her son yells back, “OK…after I finish this level of my video game.” Or the daughter sighs, “I will – once I get to the end of this chapter.”

Employees say these things. The boss pops his head in the conference room and orders, “I need a fresh report on the breakdown by the end of the week. Start over, folks, and find the real reason for the problem!” Bob, the bravest to speak up first nearly every time, clears his throat and says, “Sure, sir. Right after we grab some coffee…and review the data again.”

Spouses say these things. “Honey,” whines Vanessa, “isn’t it about time you were nice to my mother and spoke to her civilly?” To which Jimmy fires back, “I will once she decides to respect me and the valuable work I do to support you!”

Singles say these things. Steven asks Monica, a girl he’s very interested in, “When are you going to trust me and be real with me?” She turns away and whispers, “I will after I clean up the messes in my life so I’m good enough for you…or any other man.”

Human beings say these things. The doctor looks up with concern and tells John Doe, “Things don’t look good. You’ve developed X health problem. I’ve been telling you for ten years now that you needed to do more of Y and less of Z.” And John sighs and says, “OK, Doc, after one more binge-fest during my upcoming family vacation.”

It’s easy to put things off and make excuses. It’s easy to ignore people and responsibilities. It’s easy to avoid what would better be faced. It’s easy to hold onto pain, anger, or fear like lifelines in the darkness.

It’s hard to start doing what we know we should…to trust…to change…to admit…to confess…to kneel…to lean.

And yet, it’s in the latter things that goodness is planted, positive change sprouts, and true growth occurs.

 

 

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The new year is upon us. For some, it is a time to drink a whole bottle of champagne. For others, it is a time to start yet another gym membership. For me, it is a time to reflect on the goodness of God.

God has indeed been good this past year, pouring unexpected blessings into my life and sheltering me in some massive storms. Psalm 115:1 says: “Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your name be the glory because of Your love and Your faithfulness.” He has used these twelve months to make me both stronger and more dependent…more compassionate.

One way He did it was through circumstances. Multiple walls have quickly come up in my path and I’ve had to grit my teeth and pray, “With my God’s help, I can scale a wall.” In the face or aftermath of each challenge, I had to choose whether I would be angry, bitter, and prideful or I would be quiet, empathetic, and respectful. It was not always easy to choose the latter, but by His grace I had the strength to do so, even if I had to doubt and wrestle a bit before I could.

Another way He did it was through people. Earlier in the year, I decided to sponsor my fourth child through Compassion International. Meet Gloria (pictured above), a sweet teenager from Bolivia. Though I’ve known and supported her for a relatively short time, I am already a better person for it. God uses each interaction with every one of my children to humble me and make me more grateful, more understanding, more patient. (If you’re looking for a new way to give and bless in the new year, I highly recommend child sponsorship!) And Gloria is just one of several wonderful people God has brought into my life since last Christmas – people who have each blessed me in unexpected, raw, and beautiful ways.

So as I reflect today and set some goals for the next year, my biggest prayer is: “God, use whatever lies ahead in 2018 to make me a more compassionate person, a person filled with Your love and faithfulness for Your glory. And I pray the same for you, dear reader. Let us each become stronger through brokenness and kinder through the revealed tenderness of God poured into our hearts every day of our lives.

I’ll close with a quotation I love: “And I said to the One who stood at that gate of the year, ‘Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.’ And He replied, ‘Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.'” – Minnie Haskins (check out some great history behind this quotation on the following page: http://blogs.lse.ac.uk/lsehistory/2013/12/10/the-gate-of-the-year-minnie-louise-haskins-1875-1957/)

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Christmas is right around the corner – and I have been meditating on a number of topics in addition to the usual, beautiful elements of the original story. Within these meditations, my thoughts have honed in on two converse Bible passages and part of an ancient song. And the word that comes to mind time and time again is: desire.

Desire can have a negative connotation. Why? Because it can be twisted and used toward ends that are ultimately selfish, harmful, short-sighted, or cold. And so the Bible teaches:

“…but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” James 1:14-15 (NIV)

Yet, it was not always like that. In the original plan designed by the Architect of the universe, each human was to fulfill his or her God-given desires with God-given things in God-given ways and in a God-given time frame. And it was very good.

Thus, when perfection was crushed by wrong-doing, God knew He had to do something to fix the problem. Not just a patch or a quick solution – but an answer to every one of life’s dilemmas that meet in the core of our broken hearts. His ultimate desire was what we would all come to desire too…though some of us will bravely and humbly choose to see and embrace His solution and others never will. Therefore, a verse from the ancient song translated into English says:

“O come, desire of nations, bind
In one the hearts of all mankind
Bid Thou our sad divisions cease
And be Thyself our King of peace”

The baby sleeping in the manger one night long ago was the answer to the riddle in the heart of every human in every nation from the dawn of time until this moment. And only by desiring Him will each human ever know true fulfillment, goodness, and the ability to seek peace and pursue it.

So I asked myself in my musings, “If I had a two-way mirror that could reflect out to either end of a spectrum to show the extremes of fallen desires and redeemed desires in their most basic forms in each aspect of the human experience, what would I see?” This is what I came up with:

Lust and Brokenness……………….Physical……………………………Beauty and Sweetness

   Jealousy or Envy…………………..Emotional………………..Enjoyment and Contentment

     Obsession and Anxiety………….Mental……………………………Peace and Gratitude

    Empty-hearted Idols……………Spiritual…………………God’s Goodness and Glory

That’s what it all boils down to: you and I were created to do the will of God for His glory. Only a path in that direction can redeem, feed, and fulfill our desires in a supremely good way. And through His gift to us this Christmas – and every moment of our lives – we can begin to receive and achieve it day by blessed day. As King David, an ancestor of Jesus, prayed long before the holy birth:

“I desire to do your will, my God; your law is within my heart.” Psalm 40:8 (NIV)

Amen. May we rejoice in the desires He gives us as we learn to use them for the good of all.

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In class this past week, a student mentioned one of her former English teachers. That instructor, it seems, had a propensity to leave paper drafts dripping in red ink and had a few favorite editorial marks including the marginal note of “awk” (which means awkward). My student was put off by this as she reflected. Why didn’t the instructor just correct her grammar and be done with it, the student wondered. I pointed out that an awkward sentence is often still grammatically correct; however, it may not flow well because of strange phrasing order, choice of words, use of tone or voice, or placement within the rest of a paragraph. And sometimes we don’t know why a sentence is awkward when we read it…but we know it is.

I was reminded that a good instructor will meet his/her students at their awkward communication points and do more than just point out the awkwardness. A really good instructor will help students explore the reasons behind the awkwardness and help them become more graceful communicators.

In personal writing revision this past week, I was looking over some old feedback on my novel manuscript. There were points where beta readers and editor friends could give me specific feedback (this statement is trite and unbelievable, you misspelled the name of that place, etc.). But there were other points where all they could say was, “That just doesn’t sound right to me,” or “Your tone in this dialog is choppy and canned,” or “I don’t know what needs to happen here – but change something!” I accepted and reviewed every bit of feedback, but those general and vague comments simply pointing to the awkwardness of something, something they could not put their finger on, that got me. I had to review each spot critically and wrestle with what – if any – changes I would make.

I was reminded that a good writer doesn’t give up when the reader tells him/her some part of the writing is hampered, even though they can’t say exactly why. A really good writer will evaluate it calmly and not take it personally, looking for a way to make the end product better and more edifying to the prospective audience – because he/she believes that the edification of the reader is paramount.

In personal communication this past week, I felt moved in my heart to say and write some words that were not easy. And the results of following my conscience were painful on all sides. I still feel I did the right thing. But sometimes honesty reveals brokenness, fear, dissatisfaction, pride, frustration, or tension. And all of these things can open a chasm of awkwardness between two or more people who are trying to communicate. This led me to think of all the times in my past when physical, emotional, and even spiritual awkwardness caused rifts in my relationships that were never completely mended. And it made me weep.

Yet, I was reminded that a good God doesn’t give up on us when we make mistakes, when we do what we know we should do but find the response leaves us out in the cold, and when our whole lives feel like one big, knotted, clumsy mess of the regretful, the unloveable, the awkward. A really good God, in fact, steps down into the mess and meets us in our awkwardness, redeeming it all in some miraculous way to still use us for His glory.

He is never awkward. And so, it is His face alone that we must seek to heal and grow in gracefulness.

 

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Back again for one more round of lines from songs that have been beautifully or powerfully written and have produced joy, comfort, or other positive results. The following list contains such lines from songs specifically connected to the Christmas season – some of them old/ancient and some of them recent/modern.

On this first Sunday of the 2017 Advent Season, I love pausing to reflect on these lines again. I hope as you read them, your heart will also receive benefits and blessings.

 

Son of God and Son of Man // There before the world began // Born to suffer, born to shame // Born to raise us from the grave // Christ the everlasting Lord // He shall reign forevermore – Noel by Lauren Diagle and Chris Tomlin

O that birth forever blessed // When the virgin full of grace // By the Holy Ghost conceiving // Bore the Savior of our race // And the Babe, the world’s Redeemer // First revealed His sacred face // Evermore and evermore – Of the Father’s Love Begotten (Latin Hymn written in the 4th century)

Fragile finger sent to heal us // Tender brow prepared for scorn // Tiny heart whose blood will save us // Unto us is born // So wrap our injured flesh around you // Breathe our air and walk our sod // Rob our sin and make us holy // Perfect Son of God – Welcome to Our World by Chris Rice

The hopes and fears of all the years // Are met in thee tonight – O Little Town of Bethlehem

You’ve heard it told, you think it’s odd // The whole thing fraught with complications // The play begins with a baby God // And all His blessed implications – It’s True by Sara Groves

Born Thy people to deliver, born a child and yet a King // Born to reign in us forever, now Thy gracious kingdom bring // By Thy own eternal spirit, rule in all our hearts alone // By Thine all-sufficient merit, raise us to Thy glorious throne – Come Thou Long Expected Jesus

 

In the comments section below, feel free to share one of your own favorite Christmas song lyric lines or share about how one of the above lines has been meaningful to you. Thanks and Happy Advent!

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