The Written Stuff

Watercolor Art by Kaylene

While meditating this past month on the theme of being loved before we can love, I have often come back to the visual of a person walking through a desert. My thoughts were connected to how so many of us cannot accept how much love we need until we realize how broken we are. Or cannot accept how loved we really are because our souls are so parched, poisoned, or weary.

This led me to think of flowers opening up to the sun and drinking in its life-giving rays. Even in the drier regions of the world, things still bloom in their season. And their beauty opening in those arid places that seem void of life is all the more stunning to the observing eye.

These musings led me to write this short poem: Drink the Rays.

You start so well,

a promising spark,

a flare set to burn, bright.

But lies and snares creep in like snakes,

scales for your tearless eyes.

Your posture slumps

and tugs your view down.

Flare hits a frown,

wounded one;

stay there.

When the way is dark,

the path grows dim,

and all the questions come.

That’s the time for light to shine

from somewhere high above.

Lift up your head

and raise your gaze.

Drink deep the rays,

dear child;

be loved.

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Out with the old and in with the new. So another year is upon us.

As a writer, I want to be more intentional about how I use my time and how I focus my writing energy in 2019. That goes for my other writing work as well as my weekly blogging.

Over the past year-and-a-half of blogging, I’ve often written according to what was happening at that specific time, with sort of random organization. Reflecting on that this weekend, I decided to have a formal plan for where I want to go with my blog during the next 12 months.

The blog has four main categories. I plan to make better use of these different areas over the coming year, so this is my plan.

I will spend this year pondering what we are to be and then what we are to do from that place of being. Each month I will focus on a different topic, and within that month, each week I will write about that topic from a different angle: teaching, psychology, encouragement, and writing.

Months and planned topics:

January, be loved

February, love

March, be known

April, know

May, be seen

June, see

July, be heard

August, hear

September, be illuminated

October, shine

November, be blessed

December, bless

Please join me on this journey in the months ahead. Read when you would like to read, and share any posts that you find helpful with those you care about.

I wish you all the best, dear readers, in the year ahead!

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Image borrowed from: www.spiritofthescripture.com

Dear Readers,

As is my habit (usually), I’ve written a poem tied especially to the annual Christmas observance. This year, while meditating extensively on the intertwined roles of God’s divine sovereignty and supreme will and our degree of personal choice and free will, I found myself thinking more of the wise men who traveled far to see the Christ child, arriving after His birth.

My thoughts led me to write these words from a Wiseman’s point of view. In the spirit of the holiday celebration, I hope these words might give your spirit something meaningful to ponder: a moment of deeper quiet and greater closeness to the One its all about.

Merry Christmas – and may sweet peace be yours in the New Year.

Wisdom Speaks

I.

Long and often had we argued,

our learned minds

seeking to find

the master of destiny: a man’s choices

or his fate?

Sure and lofty was my view,

my proud heart

standing apart –

the master of destiny: my grand choices

shaping my fate.

Slowly and gently were we changed,

my brothers and I

seeing a child –

the Master of Destiny: my choices intertwined

with my fate.

II.

The choice to deny self and reach out is hard.

In light was I led to walk that path,

in pain was I born to bear that gift,

in love was I formed to find that star:

Marvelous,

brightest,

led to the wisest.

It’s a choice to listen to what we’ve heard.

By heaven was I made to worship that King,

by angels was I told to guard that Babe,

by history was I left to leave this word:

Seek Him,

find Him,

place none beside Him.

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So what about the foundation of a person’s life and how it serves to guide his or her identity?

In a recent writing assignment, a student of mine observed that when a political leader tries to lead people without possessing certain fundamental moral qualities such as honesty and others-centered responsibility, that leader’s life is a little bit like a shirt with buttons in mismatched button holes, all the way from the bottom of the shirt to the top.  

It was an apt thought as I further pondered this topic of identity and the foundation/applied side of it. Thinking about not only political leaders – but all types of people in general – a life without a solid moral compass is a little like a house with a slanted foundation or a dress shirt with an askew buttoning job. 

The main difference, perhaps, is that many political leaders and other celebrities live lives that are far more often on wide public display. The rest of us generally display our flaws and weaknesses to a considerably smaller crowd.

Having a solid foundation gives us a level place on which to build all of the other applications of our identity: the choices we will make; the things we will decide to invest money, time, and energy into; the direction we will veer at each fork in life’s road. But if our shirt gets buttoned in the wrong hole from the very beginning, we are far more likely to get off on the wrong foot or set off in the wrong direction – and stay there for most of our subsequent days.

And yet…analogies are rarely perfect…

In this case, though some things can’t be undone, learning how to lay a new foundation and rebutton the shirt correctly some years down the road gives us a chance to start fresh. In other words, by some miraculous grace and much discipline, the mind can be transformed. Renewed.

…Thank God for that.

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How would you answer that question? Would you simply rattle off your name, date of birth, address, etc. to the person who needed to know?

Or would you automatically list your identity in terms of relationships (“I’m a spouse, sibling, child, parent, grandparent, friend, etc.”) Or perhaps turn to your career field or current job for an easy answer?

If you were to, instead, answer according to, say, some aspect of your personality or a skill, talent, or hobby that’s prominent in your life, would that provide a clearer picture of you as a person?

When someone “steals” our identity, what does that mean? Supposedly they “become” us, at least in terms of having access to our money and credit, buying things in our name and making off with what we have worked hard to earn. 

But are any of these things, in the truest sense, a real picture of our identity? 

I firmly believe that our identity goes far beyond what can be listed on a small plastic card or even in a social media profile. Instead, in the deepest sense, it is the very origin of our soul mixed with the elements of our material heart, mind, and body while we walk the earth AND it is, springing from that origin, the foundation upon which the rest of our life (our actions, decisions, and sense of personal direction) is built. 

While reflecting quietly on the depths of my own identity this weekend, I wrote a poem that demonstrates what the first part of the above statement means in my life at its most important level. Please allow me to share it with you here. 

Identity 101

I come from a God

Who has never produced a single flaw,

Who knits supremely with needles finer than fishbones,

Who will always see me as His priceless handiwork.

I turn from a God

Who was weeping at my absence long before I left,

Who wants only my best – while I chase slippery perfection,

Who will always do His utmost to show me His door stands wide open.

I pray to a God

Who created time for our finite minds alone,

Who holds its limited, counted sand grains in His capable hands,

Who will always hear my cry – no matter its volume.

I cling to a God

Who swaddled me in arms supremely meek,

Who offers me unlimited time in the spot at His side,

Who will always grant a feast for the soul in the touch of His hand.

I learn from a God

Who was planning my courses with precision long before I breathed,

Who scaffolds the lessons in all my days – reviewing as necessary,

Who will always give the wisdom I need to complete each application.

I love from a God

Who has modeled the only way to care completely,

Who restores a broken world through clay vessels like me,

Who will always know what we were is what we are and what we will be.


Next week, I’ll reflect a bit further on the second part, about the foundation.

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This Labor Day, I pause to reflect for a few moments. And if I’m honest, I will confess that I struggle to maintain a balance between two extremes: working my heart to the bone to try please those I work for or with versus not really caring about work and wanting to somehow escape its responsibilities.

The first extreme springs from a fear that the work I’ve done and all the work I’ve yet to do will somehow never really be good enough. The second has roots in the over-exhaustion that comes when I find myself trying to recover from the backlash of the first.

And somehow, I have a feeling I’m not the only one out there who has found him/herself in this boat, caught in this cycle.

So my mind floats to those old, wise words telling me not to worry, not to fear. “Look at the birds and the flowers – they don’t worry and all is provided for them…” And yet, I see members of the natural world also doing their “work” and receiving the gifts provided for them, gathering and storing for the winter ahead. Noticing one of my bushy-tailed little neighbors yesterday inspired me to write this poem:

Instincts sharp

and shiny

eyes vigilant

enough to

steer clear

of my

careening tires–

even though

that mouthful

surely outweighs

your head.

Bounding gracefully

over blades,

launching expertly

onto bark…

I instinctively

want to

hear if

you fear

the knowns–

and unknowns–

of winter?

Then I ask myself – what’s the difference between worry and fear? And how are humans different than animals with our given ability to make choices — choices that include one to trust the Creator when fear or worry (or both) would threaten to drain the joy from work that we should be reaping along with a salary (as Solomon suggested in Ecclesiastes 3:12-13)?

My head tells me that the contented and peaceful trusting-middle is the place where I should dwell, and my heart cries with the need to comply. But every day, as I face the winter of the world, I, the human, must make a very real choice: to be a little bit more like the lily, the sparrow, the squirrel.

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While reflecting a lot recently on the life of an ancient prophet named Elijah, I found I could identify with him closely – a nearly-impossible success finally achieved…but coming down off the “high” to find an exhausted body and soul in a desert (of sorts). 

After reading Psalm 9:9-10 and chewing more on the aforementioned thoughts, I crafted the following short poem. If you or someone you care about is going through a trying or dry time right now, I hope the words might bring some comfort to your heart, and that you might find (or rediscover) the water that will truly fill you up again.

See how a river, mighty once, now runs: a fragile stream instead,

Enough to feed a single tree — to shade my drooping, sun-brunt head,

Inviting, careless: death, sleep, end — this sandy shelf becomes a bed.

Now comes a hand to pierce my dreams, a voice to rouse my weary soul,

Coals near my face releasing smoke, burned for the bread to make me whole, 

And water sweet to quench this thirst, to make both gut and spirit full.

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What do I believe I deserve?

In the grand scheme of things, most people seem naturally disposed to assume that “good” people deserve good things and “bad” people deserve bad things – or at least they deserve less than their “good” counterparts.

A Jesus-centered view of the world sees things in a different light. In the light of His holiness, every single person has done things to distance him/herself from God, and therefore, on our own, we can never truly be good again – we are all correctly labeled as bad, marred, or undeserving. And the only thing we have really earned or deserved is punishment for the laws of God and man we have broken. Ironically, it is also in the light of His holiness, and His blood, that we can be made good again in the eyes of God, and filled with the desire to do good. And so, we acutely feel our struggle against the old wrong while we continue to reach for what is better.

Yet, even such redeemed hearts can sometimes struggle to know what to do with the undeserved. Every day – a hundred blessings are poured out on us. Some seem tiny and others are huge. If we have eyes and hearts to see them, it can still be hard to accept them. We sink back to thinking of what it was to depend solely on self, and we steep our minds in worries over our unworthiness.

But the Bible shows in more than one place that blessings and opportunities are poured on each person, no matter whether we would judge them “worthy” or not. For example, Ecclesiastes 9:11 (NIV) says, “I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.”

In The Voice of Melody, there is a point when Owen is acutely reminded of what a treasure he’s been given in his wife, Peggy. And in his words to her, we see the bottom line of our choice for how we will respond to all the blessings we don’t feel we deserve…

We can either deface God’s gifts to us, refusing them or snatching them from His hand with grumbling in our souls.

Or we can open our hearts to let them be poured in by the Blessing Giver, and echo back goodness with words of humble gratitude.

 

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Image result for woman and baby silhouette

In honor of caring women everywhere: a Mother’s Day, every-day poem…

 

Many a womb has brought about

a life both wanted and received —

a life begotten out of love

and raised in blessed cherishing

Many a womb has borne to full

a child whole in limb and form —

a child ignored, rejected, crushed

by worth dismissed, appearance scorned

Many a womb has ached to house

a child’s live and beating heart —

a child who comes but cannot stay

so that the womb cries: hollow, hurt

Many a womb has never grown

any sort of seed at all —

no seed to enter sacred space

within the garden’s secret wall

But many arms have held and rocked

and many hands have nursed fresh wounds

and many eyes have unearthed beauty

and many voices have hummed and soothed

And so, today, no matter what

the state of her womb may have been

I say to each heart that has mothered,

“Thank you for the love you’ve shown.”

 

~Kaylene Powell (May 13, 2018)

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I had an opportunity to sell books at the Old Market Farmer’s Market in Omaha a couple of days ago. It was delightful to meet folks from all walks and stages of life, to sell copies of The Voice of Melody to a number of readers, and to introduce the story to many more.

But being there early to set up meant peeling myself out of bed at 5:30 a.m. As I threw back the covers, I prayed, “God, give me energy to go and meet people today – and bring the people by that You want me to talk to, the people who need to hear this story.”

One of my later sales of the day was to a customer in a bright yellow blouse (my FAVORITE color!). She walked up to the booth and was obviously, instantly captivated by the book’s cover.

After I gave her a brief synopsis, she decided to get one. And I said, “I’d be happy to sign your copy. What’s your first name?”

She smiled and said, “Melody.”

I laughed.

And later, I remembered my early morning prayer. There is something about the men, women, and children of this novel, both the historical characters and the completely fictional ones, that creeps into the inviting heart and makes us think about our own experiences in a meaningful way.

Yes, most volumes written are not suitable for every reader in the world. But I firmly believe that certain readers are meant to read certain books at certain times.

I’m so glad Melody walked by my booth. And I hope she’ll enjoy her journey back in time.

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